Full of mystery and secret are yet to be unveil!

Konbawa.

2012-02-13T22:43:00.004+08:00

The girl above is my cousin or should i say my niece to be exact. Knowing today would be my fifth anniversary if he hadn't left, she spent the whole afternoon with me. Not only she spent the whole afternoon with, she treated me to roti prata and also listen to all my stories.
Isn't she sweet?
Thank you sweetheart. <3

Oh my, i can still see myself talking about the ex with a wide smile on my face. Why is it so frigging hard for this heart to understand that he has walk away and never will come back. Why this heart still strongly believe he will and never stop beating?

Please dear God, let all the feelings vanish from my heart. Let the right guy come at the right time and return all the happiness and smile that i once possess.

Mengapa kau melukai hati ini,
Sedangkan kau tahu.

*Baba i'm missing you badly at this very moment.*

3Ps

2012-02-12T16:47:00.006+08:00

I have no choice but to PUT AN ACT and PRETEND that i am interested to go to PHUKET!

I becoming more and more vicious especially to the opposite gender. I tried to put a stop and end it but it's not my fault if the other party wishes to stay and continue taking blows from me. I feel bad but on the other hand i think the concern is slowly fading away. Like i don't care how the other party feel as long as i am content and happy.

Ya it's all about me, myself and i now. I don't settle for giving in and compromising. I'm selfish? Yeah i am! Who should i blame for all my actions then? If he hadn't left me and R is true to me, this wouldn't be the outcome. I can't bring myself to love the other party although i really did try. I am evil ain't i?

*If only i could reverse the time, i'll definitely make things right and change my fate.*

I was wrong.

2012-02-06T00:47:00.002+08:00

It's been almost half a year that we broke up. Unfortunately i am still hanging to my past when i thought i had gotten over it. I realized that my feelings for him is still as strong as ever. I just can't seem to stop loving him. Now i see myself crying to bed almost every single night thinking about him. Every day, every hour and every second is painful. I hate that his smell still lingers around me as if he is so close to me.

Every time when i meet up with our friends, i still see myself talking about him and smiling ears to ears. I ended up talking about all the good times we had, the way we jokes, we fuss, we fight and how we would patch things up. I feel like nothing change. He was never an ex but will always stay as my other half in my heart. My hearts skip a beat and i would feel butterflies in my stomach upon hearing or say his name.

Whenever i went out on a date with guys, i would pretend that it's him. I'll visualize that the guy is him instead. I feel bad for the guys because they had no idea that i am making them as a subs hoping that one of them would make me forget him. However, i always ended up thinking about him.

I still cannot believe it's over. We were so good together. We went through ups and downs, overcoming all kind of obstacles that come in our way. Nearly five years of relationship and it all ended just like that. He said i am the one that he could see living with but why he left? What am i supposed to do with the wedding package?

One thing i am so sure about is that years may come and go but he will still be in my heart. I'll always be here waiting for him to return. My heart strongly feels that he will but i know it just a wishful thinking on my part.

How do you let go of someone you love, you know its over, but in your heart it's as if nothing ever changed. I know you never get over someone you love but how do you move on?

*Remember the vow we had made during our first year anniversary? If we ever get separated i'll be waiting for you by the Merlion on 13 Feb 2015 at 12 am. I know i'll be there.*

Leading a single life

2012-01-16T19:15:00.002+08:00

I think i'm getting the hang of it now. It's not that bad after all. Plenty of boys come and go in my life ever since i'm single but none attract me like you do. You're still the one i want. Perhaps i'm still head and heels in love with you.

Anyway i might be going Phuket in March with cousin and friends. Hopefully by the time i can raise the money for the flights and hotel. To add on it i can just forget about you and move on.

*Life is taking a toll on me.*

End of 2011 start of 2012

2012-01-11T00:27:00.005+08:00

My new year has been spent with wonderful bunch of people, cousin to be specific but the celebration was a big letdown. I went to celebrate my new year in Malacca and it was oh my god i seriously think they need major improvement on that. I usually LOVE fireworks but that night the firework bored me to death. It was damn fcuking deadly!

Nevertheless my December holidays were spent splendidly. My cousin, Qistina and daddy was kind enough to bring me to Batam then to Malacca, KL and lastly to Genting. Daddy was being sucha darling and pampered both of us like really spent a lot of money on both of us. I dyed my hair orange but to my disappointment the color fade away and it turn into another color like brownish orange. I pierce my ear and belly again. Daddy gave each of us nearly $500 to shop till we drop dead. I can't be more happy than this right? Ladyluck must be smiling on me.
I'm one lucky girl!
<3

In Malacca, daddy brought us to experience the night life there thus he brought us to one of the nightclub in Melaka Sentral. A club called A'famosa or something like that. First daddy forbid me to drink but on second thought he change his mind and let me order anything i want. Being a liquor lover, i ordered tequila pop since that was the only liquor they have on the menu otherwise i would have ordered my fav drink, tequila shots or redbull vodka. I had one glass then daddy ordered more and more glasses for me. He told me i can really hold my liquor well thus he kept ordering. I had 10 glasses in total plus a glass of beer. Yeah i know i'm not a fan of beer but he told me to give his face and so i thought a glass wouldn't be a big deal. Afterall i drank in one gulp. The moment i reached my room, i throw myself on the bed without changing. I was damn tired but i kept talking to Qistina the entire night.

The next day we went shopping at Dataran Melaka. At first daddy tagged along with his brother and all me and Qis did was either ordered or took the items to the cashier and asked him to pay. However, seeing how crazy and how long we took in just one shop, he started to give up. He gave us a sum of money and waited for us in the car. I shopped like mad in Mango store as there were crazy sale ongoing. We bought ourselves clothes and accessories.

After that crazy shopping spree, we went back home to bath and change. Knowing it was the eve of new year, Daddy brought us back again there to witness the fireworks. The only thing that turns me on but like i said it was a big letdown. After like standing there for couple of minutes to witness that lame showcase, we went to the nearby pasar malam or nightmarket and continue shopping but this time i shop for food. Yummy yummy.

On new year day we went to Genting. We went to KL first but did nothing much just making a pit stop to fill our empty stomach. Genting we shopped again and this time i only bought myself a perfume. I wanted to go visit the theme park so badly only to find myself getting upset and disappointed. I was so looking forward for the roller coaster ride but it wasn't operating on that very day. In the end i ride in stupid stupid ride. Wasted my fucking energy and time.

Bottomline i'm grateful for everything. I'm just happy that i have these people who never fail to bring joy and laughter into my life. Despite a lot of shits happened, i'm glad i am still breathing and moving on. Pictures can be found in my facebook though.

*Love is not a bitch. It's the people who doesn't know to seize and appreciate it.*

Fuck you!

2012-01-09T19:56:00.002+08:00

AKU DASAR BESAR PUKIMAK! KAU DASAR BESAR KEPARAT!

If i'm a Bitch then you're a Total Jerk.

2012-01-09T00:11:00.004+08:00

Foremost i would like to stress that this is my blog and my property so it's my business on whatever i want to put up. You have no rights to tell me what i can't do.
Get that facts in your head!

Mr. R!? Who is he anyway?
Just another random guy who come and go in my life. Yeah i admitted i was very close into falling in love with him but i'm glad to a lil bird who help me sort all the confusion created by him. I guess i must be extra careful and not to fall easily for someone esp those who seem so nice and walk through with me while i was facing a great ordeal the next time.

Dear R,
you appeared in my life while i was at my lowest. You helped me through giving me strength to move on each day. Yeah i did somehow got used to live without him now although i do think of him at times. You were so nice at first but after few months, the ugly side of you started to show bit by bit. The devastating among all was you lied about your status. Now everything has been laid out on the table. I thank you for everything. One word from me tho, if i'm your Bitch then you're my Jerk!
===========================================================

Yesterday i broke down once again thinking of Mr Milkshake. I can lie to the whole world and curse him for all i want but i can't lie to myself. The fact that my feelings for him was still strong as ever. I've accepted the fact that we were not meant to be together thus i sent him a goodbye text. I was expecting a reply to him like at least just a simple word of encouraging perhaps but none came.
:'(
I have to learn now all by myself without anyone help. I know i must be strong and can go through all this.

Dear Mr Milkshake,
though you break my heart into million pieces and broke all the promises you made, not once i ever regretted meeting you. Instead, i'm thankful but i was really disappointed with you. That four years spent with you and what you did behind my back was enough to make me fall into depression. I'm back on my feet now and i must say i am still breathing despite the fact that there are times i felt like my heart stop beating. I will never hate you i hope. I know you had once love me with all your heart and pampered me with endless love. Sacrificing a lot just to put a smile on my face. Perhaps love were ours but ending up together wasn't our fate. Thanks for tolerating all my tantrums, temper, nonsense and crazy moment. Thank you once again for loving then broke my heart.

*2012 better be a good year.*

Bit and pieces.

2011-12-23T01:28:00.004+08:00

2011 is ending in a few days time. Well 2011 has been a total bitch for me. If you read my past post, you will know why. However towards the end i'm glad i cam across a guy, R. He was such a nice guy i must say. He was there for me giving the strength to move on and somehow share my problem. He can be a total jerk at times but on the other hand such a sweet guy. I guess he has split personality?

My friends told me i am falling for him but i don't think so. I am pretty much still in love with my ex but then eversince R came into my life i think less of him. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. Whatever it is i'm just going with the flow.

Sad to say, i had heated argument with R because i think he has a girlfriend but he denies it. I don't know what t believe. On second thought, why should i bother right? He's not even my boyfriend so why should i get uptight even if it's true that he's attach. Why should i feel jealous? Why should i be angry?

Damn! This is the signs that i am tripping all over again. Please R text me. Don't leave me in the lutch.

Not mad but hurt

2011-09-11T02:24:00.003+08:00

I had salam lebaran concert yesterday since it's past 12. A few weeks back i had informed him about this and thus i bought 5 tickets. I waited for him all day hoping he would appeared. Well he told he might not make it or might thus i was still popping my head on stage and my eyes were searching everywhere while dancing hoping to see him. However to no avail, he did not make it at all. Of course i'm sad and mad but as soon as it's over i was no more angry. When mum texted and informed he went out an hour ago i felt like a fool. Tears came down flowing as things was running through my mind.
In the past, he would come down even if it for a moment and went off after that if he had some other errands. Why not now? I'm not mad but am just hurt.

Anyway, during the concert, i was watching a dikir barat performance. While watching suddenly i think of him. Then this came into my mind, "This is where he belong. Every time i watched Dikir performance, i see him. This is who he is." I would love to see him in Dikir and that's his identity.

That's not the main issues. My mind and my head keeps telling to forget him but my heart just refused. It strongly disagree. My guts strongly tell me he's the one but it hurt me alot living like this. On the other hand, i'm just content living in his shadow. I have to admit i am already used and immune living like this. Hurt but happy whenever i see him laugh and smile.

They said i'm living in denial and i don't deserve to be treated this way. I don't have to live by crying all the time. They said i lost my own identity, my smile and my laughter. I lost everything that used to be me. They said i was a happy-go-lucky girl who smile all the time. What they said was true but what they don't is he is the reason for all that. He was the one who made me smile and laugh. He is my identity. He is everything that is me. I'm not going to let go.

What you see now is not him. He is a very nice and humble guy. He is a caring guy who put others first before himself. He don't even let me to cry not even a single drop of tears. He stick by me when the world was against me. He may not be perfect in your eyes but he's perfect for me. Just perfect.

Thus when now the world is against him shouldn't i stick by his side like he used to stick to me. I can tolerate all his anger and tantrums.

If my heart hurts so much, my mind think about him all the time and every moment i miss him even tho he's right in front of me. Then i love him. I love him deeply. I love him so much that my heart and mind feel like bursting every time i set eyes on him.

I just can't

2011-08-28T02:09:00.002+08:00

Dear blog,

i have people telling me to let go and some to hold on. However the problem is to do is so hard and not to do is also the same. If you are telling me to listen to my heart, it said to stay and hold on. Why no one truly understand how i feel?

Baby please say "When it all end, you will come back." It means a lot to me.

비탄에 잠긴

2011-08-22T22:09:00.004+08:00

Lately tears has been my new best friend. I don't know what am i suppose to do anymore. I have been treated so badly, real bad. I am really exhausted and i want to give up but my heart tell me otherwise. Why are things turning out this way? We were so good together in the past and nothing could come between us but why are things so different now?!

I love him so much and this love is killing me slowly.
Am i stupid or what!?
Why am i still loving him dearly after being treated like a piece of shit!? I am angry super furious but i can't vent it on him. I just can't bring myself to do it. Everytime when i texted him, hardly he replied. When i asked him a question, he don't answer. Shouldn't i be hating him for this!? But why there is no single hatred in my heart?

I am hurt but my heart feel deeply for him. It's like i could risk my life for him. I want to stop shedding tears for me but the moment he came into my mind, tears would fill in without me knowing.
I miss him so much.
If it were *boyfriend* he would not allow a single tears. He would comfort me telling me to be strong and no matter how bad the situation is, he will stick by like glue. He would not leave me alone. But now it's like a total stranger. I don't know him anymore. I want him back despite he has hurt me so much.

Dear god,
every night i pray to you without fail. I ask you to let me meet Mr Right. And if he is the one, i beg you to return the love back to him and let him love me once again. Otherwise i beg you to take away my love. But why am i still feeling the same? In fact it grown even deeper while he is still treating me like nobody.
Why?
My patience is running super low. I beg you.

Status

2011-03-20T23:51:00.002+08:00

Things ain't getting any better but it is slowly healing me when i am sure it's not about any third party.
I guess a short getaway with him is the only best situation for it to spark back.
So i am bringing him for ATV activity as his birthday present.
But where?
Bintan or phuket?

No matter how long it takes,
I'll wait for u.
Cause i love you truckloads.

*Baby, let's save this together.*

Sincere or Prententious.

2011-03-18T10:04:00.002+08:00

or is that even exists?
Well anyway as long as i understand.

I am currently on medications and it stop me from crying. It's like my tears was blocked from coming out. I don't know whether the medicine that cause it on my tears has dry up. Despite that i can still feel my heart exploding every time i see your face. I can still feel my heart hurts each and every second. I totally lose my appetite and people thought i was on diet.

You were back to being nice to me however i don't know if it's sincere or you were just pretending to be one due to my situation now. I always told myself why still be nice to me if you were going to leave me. I hope not though. Whatever it is it does soothe me in a way and i thank you for that. Trust me if i can get over with it i will willingly let you go if that's what you want which i don't even want it to happen and it is the last i want to do. Just so you know i have fallen deeply with you that i have no eyes for the others.

I must be mad and crazy but it's the truth. I am madly and crazily in love with you. If only you knew. Just stay the way you are baby.

For the rest of my life,
i'll be with you
i'll stay by your side
honest and true.

*I thank Allah for sending me you.*

Cinta Agung

2011-03-17T06:55:00.004+08:00

Cinta Agung

It hurt so much till i can feel every atom of my molecules is exploding. He meant so much to me. It felt like a knife just directly pierce through my heart when i heard his feeling. I have been crying every single night profusely. Tears just came flowing down my cheek as if as it was a waterfall. I can't help it.

Why can't i just bring myself to hate you!? Why is it you're giving up a four years relationship? When you used to tell me you did not gave up three years. Have you forgotten all the things you used to say to me? When i left you thinking you ain't the one, you proved to me you are. So why now all this have to happen? Are you telling me i am mistaken? I wasn't so deeply in love with you till i've seen how sincere your love was. And when i am head over heels in love with you, you're telling me you're drifting apart. I spend time with my friends thinking it might heal me but when i am alone it got the best of me. Even as my fingers are pressing on each letter on the keyboard my tears just kept going. Why baby!?

Is there someone else it your life? You even deleted message i used to send you when it was there for some time. Do you really want to get rid of me. If i go away, will your love grow back? Or will you go to someone else?
I miss you so badly. I had to lie to people we were okay when actually we're not. You know how hurtful or painful it feel when you want to talk about something but you can't because they always thought we were the perfect couple and a role model?
Do you!?

I sense you are avoiding me as much as you could. It's true you are, aren't you!?
There was a time when you hung up on a phone call and you tries to check you texts, you like shove away like as if you are keeping something from me.
Are you?
Is there that's hurtful you are keeping from me?
Please baby talk and tell me so we could improve on it.

If only you know how much i love you. How much i don't want to lose you. How painful it is to go through this period when things aren't working well for me with my family and YOU adding to it. I don't want to sound desperate but i can't lose you!
Worst i can't tell you all this but to pen my thoughts down hoping you would read it. Because i know if i send text, you would not bother to read one long text from me.

I feel like ending my life. Seriously! I feel like sleeping and not wake up because i just can't bear to see that can't be bother face of yours. It's just too painful to see.
I love you but i want to be single!? What theory is that!?
Depression! Yes i am! Because of what you said!?
BECAUSE OF YOU!

Ya allah.
Jangan la engkau rampas kembali cinta yang engkau telah berikan pada dia.
Aku tidak sanggup kehilangannya.
Kembalikanlah cinta yang telah engkau berikan padanya untuk diriku.
Aku mohon.
Aku rindukan dirinya.

*Don't leave me baby.*

4th Anniversary Disaster

2011-02-13T03:22:00.002+08:00

It's 13th February 2011 and it was supposed to be yet another remarkable day for us. It's the day we turn 4 and i was supposed to feel happy about it. However, it was a disappointment.

Haix.

Happy ending wasn't meant for me.

2010-08-27T23:41:00.002+08:00

Since young i always love to watch hindi movies and my all time favorite fairy tale was cinderella. Like in all the movies i've watched, i always hope that i would have the same ending. I always dreamt that someday, someone will appear in my life.

Someone that would make my heart beat fast every moment. Someone that would make me smile from ear to ear. Someone that would wipe away my tears whenever i cry. Someone that would just hold me in his arm when the world seem cruel. I even dream about it whenever i close my eyes. I would feel there's butteflies in my stomach whenever i saw him from far, whenever he whisper through my ears and whenever i could hear his breath.

I thought i have found the one. You were the one would make me feels all jittery. I just thought you were the one. You were the first on my mind whenever i open y eyes. You were the reason for every action i take. I thought you were my happy ending. Because till now, whenever i recalls all the good and bad times we have been through, i would just smile to myself. I thought our love was as strong as Shah Jahan love towards his wife. I thought i could make a love story out of our love. But i was wrong.

For a moment i thought i have locked myself in your heart. For a moment i thought you treated me extra special compared to the other girls you have known. For a moment, i thought you loved me with all your heart. Every night and day i would just assure myself that you loved me and only me. I would just think about all the deeds you had did for me. But i know i was lying to myself. Somewhere in the little corner of your heart, i have slowly ceased but you deny it.

I was a fool ain't i? To actually believed those fairy tales and mushy scene in all the hindi movies could actually happens in my love life. I was totally stupid because till now i still hope those happy endings will still occurs. I realised how stupid i was to have return. I am a fool to let myself fall deeply in love with you.

I have been in love and i love with all my hearts. For him, i would sacrifice anything. I had love him without any compromise or terms and condition. I have love him unconditionally. Now, i just have to learn to let it go. I have to learn to start making this feeling fade away. I know it's gonna be hard. Very hard cause even right now i still love him that i feel my heart could burst anytime. But i have to...

I

2010-06-29T23:33:00.001+08:00

I Nuraida Suriyani officially declare that i am addicted to blogshopping!
And i need help to stop all this.
Anyone?

Shopping madness.

2010-06-25T16:26:00.005+08:00

Mine birthday celebration was just simple. We went to catch toy story 3 at vivo gold class. Sucha a cute, humorous yet touching storyline. We met early in the morning at around 10. Settle some errands like settling all the bills. Then walked around the vivocity before entering a shop and bought myself 5 books of local novel. And guess what i'm done reading four of it. After that i bought myself a samsung camera. The dual if i'm not wrong. Right after movie, we settled down for some dessert before visiting the doctor then went home.

I am suffering from insomnia lately. I can't sleep late a night and now i'm depending on sleeping pills however i'm trying to consume less as i don't want to get addicted to it.

That not what i want to share.

I have been going shopping almost every single day. Spending like nobody business. On the lighter note, at least i managed to get most of the things i desire. Here are all the stuffs i spent on...

*Blogshop

*5 loal novels

*Samsung camera

*dinner at sakae sushi

*charles & keith bag

*3 pieces of zara shirts

*necklace at diva

*dinner at swensen

*cosmetics

*77th street tank top

Look! I must be crazy!

And i'm looking forward for friday to arrive. Will be visiting universal studios.

*cross fingers*

Anyway yesterday finally i met Rara after months of not seeing each other. Well we started of awkward perhaps because it's been quite sometime and we do have some past. But after dinner everything overturn. We really enjoyed ourselves playing arcade. Seriously enjoying so much. Till we forgot that it's already 10 minutes past 9. We then headed to buy mine stuffs before heading home via cab.

I love raffs!

When can we have a proper meet up nie!?

Grr..

Rightfully 21.

2010-06-22T02:27:00.004+08:00

It seem like it was yesterday, in my secondary school uniform smoking discreetly and wishing that i was 18 back then. In a blink of eyes i have turned 21 today. How time really flies. I feel like i'm old already. Now how i wish i was still in my teens. Anyway i can't run away from fate. It's not like i have any other choice. People grow old and eventually they died. So live with it Aida.

Initial plan was my family wants to throw a big party but then due to luck not in our favor, had to give it a skip. However, *boyfriend* bringing me out tomorrow so guess that's how i'll be celebrating mine 21st birthday. It worth spending your birthday with someone you fall head and heels with. So no regrets!
And Mr Isk actually promised to treat me to Ben's and Jerry ice cream but no sign of him yet.

Frankly i don't feel any special on this day. In fact i hate to turn 21. Not because i don't want to turn old but there's something. How i wish i could pour it out here but i know i musn't to save face for those who involved. All i can say people are eyeing on the blink2 now.

Dear *boyfriend*,
please cheer me up tomorrow and make this day another unforgettable moment.
I love you!

*Don't stop beating.*

me and you.

2010-06-02T19:18:00.005+08:00

Better to be love than to love.

That's what i thought previously but now it seem that i am the one who has turn head over heels in love with him. Please god don't make me lose him. I have lose him once and i wouldn't want to go through it again.
*cross fingers*

I don't even know,

2010-06-01T02:36:00.002+08:00

My stomah was hurting so much and i was hoping for you to be somewhere waiting but you were nowhere in sight. I can't even breath normally because when i do, i can feel the pain piercing thru my stomach. Well i have not had anything since morning and that explained everything. I can't believe, i actually walked that much and on an empty stomach.

My tears were falling freely every single seconds. I ignored people surrounding me. I don't bother making a fool out of myself. If i can't shout or let my anger out, the last option is to cry my heart out. We are drifting apart i must say. Not havin ample time is not the main issues. Still having the feeling was the cause of everything.
So tell me do you? Still? You told me once but i can't remember what was it. Thus tell me once more so i know it's true.

As much as i wanted you to be there badly, you were still indoor. Not blaming you but there is a feeling of a little disappointment. I am puzzled on what's happening now? Fate is playing tricks on me i guess. Or was it you?

I wanted to talk to someone. To pour my heart out. To complain but there was no one. I don't want to even let them know whenever we had disagreement between us. They think of you highly and i want it to be just that way. But i an turning insane soon bottling everything up.

And now as much as i want you to rub on my tummy and making sure i am fine. You have already gone to your world. I really miss us back then so much. I really want to feel the warmt in your embrace. Cause right now everything seem to be fake or pretentious. I don't know what have been happening ehind my back. What have you been doing. All i know is that i love you.
But do you love me as much as i do? That still left as a question mark in my head.

Back to reality.

2010-05-09T15:26:00.005+08:00

Thank god! Finally i'm back to the arts scene after so long. At the same time i have been out of shape and everyone has been talking about it.

Not to worry, soon enough i'll be in shape back. Just wait and see especially you Abg Hamzah!

Hmpx.!

I miss the dancers alot and meeting them indeed has healed it. I found out alot of things. I must say i missed out alot. Those two months i have been away, alot of things occurred. Not only that. I even feel awkward when i dance. I felt that i'm being left behind. Now it's time for to buck up and catch with them. I won't let this minor thing demoralise me instead this will even encourage me to go beyond my limits. I will achieve it before our next big performance.

Insya'allah.

Lately i have been spending alot of time with my gf like finally. She has been complaining how seldom we have been hanging out. Thus ever since my return, i have been going out with her most of the time. We hit the clubs, fill our stomach, walk down the streets and make everyone go woah together. Previously, our friendship was so fragile but now i know our sisterhood will last for eternity.

Oh ya, yesterday i met a close friend of mine. My khaki gerek. And he promised me to date me out soon. perhap threesome with his girlfriend. Don't break your words ok isk. I'll be waiting loyally.

My teacher

2010-05-05T09:18:00.002+08:00

are making me bored!

He's teaching me networking and when i thought i got the hang of it, he's making me all confused with the subnet.

And now i am totally lost and staring in space..

Somebody rescue me!!

Easy than done.

2010-04-30T03:41:00.002+08:00

I didn't know that planning boyfriend birthday is not an easy task.

But me, aida, will never think of giving up.

I'll make it happen.

Come what may, i will overcome it with ease.

5 more days to abang's birthday and 12 more days to boyfriend's birthday.

Jia You!

Anyway,

girls when are we meeting?

It been already more than a month since we have not met and i have been holding on to F present for long already.

So when?

Pictures have been uploaded for the previous entry.

Global Citizen

2010-04-23T15:40:00.004+08:00

Oh my, look at how rusty my blog is. It's been ages since i last update right? Well before i start let me just warn you first that it's gonna be a very very and VERY long post. Sorry if i have start to bore you out.

Foremost i'm gonna start with my BEIJING trip of course. I really had an awesome time no, way beyond awesome with the group of crazy and insane group of GCs apart from the lousy food. To name a few, Douglas, Sheena, Yogi, Noraini and of course He Jie. Actually it's more than that but if i were to mention all fo the names, it will be a long list. You guys know yourself.
So what did we do there?
I'll just say the highlight!
*
*
*
*
*
1. Wang Fung Jin street.
2.Great Wall of China.
3.Culture Street.
4.Beijing Zoo.
5.Raddison Hotel room service.
6.TEDA international school.
7.Tai Chi exercise.
8.Bullet Train!
9.Silk Market!
10. The extremely cold weather!

The very next day upon my arrival, i went Supperclub with my bf's brother and his peeps. At first i was ackward with them as i am the only real lady there while they...
But after a while we were clicking. Drinking and hitting the dance floor. I was tipsy but they were taking good care of me. Great bunch of nice people i must say.
It was da bomb!

Next was GCs reunion chalet. Another yet most happening day. It was 3 days 2 nights chalet. First day, i was supposed to meet Noraini and Sheena at 1230pm to do some groceries shopping before checking in but being me as usual i was late. And i meant extremely late. By the time i reached the destination, they were done with the groceries. Soon after, Douglas and Jeremy picked us up and we headed to geylang to collect our Vegetarian Mee before proceeding to Aloha Loyang. Once we set our feet in the bungalow, the three ladies start preparing food for barbecue. Luck wasn't on our side and we have to skip the idea of barbecuing as it was raining heavily.

Thus we kept the food for tomorrow and He Jie and the boys start barecuing the food. Me as usual help by eating those food. Last night of the chalet, Sheena, Noraini and myself went Cash Studio and sing our heart out. And of course photo taking. I'll upload it once i got it from either Noraini or Sheena. We really enjoy ourselves i do.

Well overall it was realing an exciting journey for me enjoying my holiday with new friend made. School semester and i satisfied with my time table. No school on Friday! Best or what!I have new resolutions for this semester and isya'allah i can do it if i put my hgeart and soul into it.
:)
However, i have plenty of things to do.
*
*
*
- Got to meet up with Raff!
- Back to dance. Only-god-knows how much i miss dancing.
- plan another outing with GC peeps.
-Change my blogskin.
-Activate my plurk.
-Edit photo and upload it.
-Start using my twitter as it have been abandon for a year.

Wang Fung Jin Street.

Homesick!

2010-04-08T20:28:00.004+08:00

China/Beijing has been awesome and i'll do a proper update about it soon. Right here, at this very moment i am missing what they called it "hometown".

Yes! I miss my family. How ironic can i be? I used to tell the world, friends to be exact how much i hated my family. Mum especially. But yesterday, tears was flowing out and when i called my mum it became worst. I cried profusely. At that moment i soon realised i miss them and i love them. Afterall, they're mine blood and flesh. Their blood are running through my veins. I slept with teary eyes and a photo of them in my arm. I miss the arguments i had between mum and me. Those disagreement we had among us. Those jokes or nasty joke i had with the brothers. They have been such a loving brothers behind the scene, i you know what i mean. And i have exactly a week more to endure before i can set my eyes on them.

This beijing trip has really open my eyes. Especially my heart and soul. I learn to treasure people surrounding me. I learnt to appreciate the family i have especially after making a trip to the orphanage home and old folks home. I am suprised to know that the elderly actually went there on their own accord and because they want to be there. It seem that their kids are too busy working till they have no quality time with the parents. I really pity them. I know how they feel and i can surely feel their pain. I won't make my parents fell the same in the future.
Insya'allah.

Before i turn in for the day, i would like to wish a dearly lady happy 17th birthday. I know i'm way beyond time to wish you.
Thus, happy 17th birthday FARAHDEE!
I hope you had such a wonderful and splendid celebration this year.
*hugs and kisses*

no matter how bad they have hurt you,
no matter how cruel they are.
They are still family and,
I LOVE THEM!

*I have break those wall.*

Heartbroken

2010-03-21T23:11:00.003+08:00

I am at the lowest point of my life.

That's it i guess. Things are not getting in my way. Whenever i plan something with him, something seem to get in the way. I wish i could do something to change it however i can do absolute nothing. I left with freaking 6 more days and i have yet to meet him.

When i plan to spent couple of days with me upon my return from China, he have to attend course. And just now, just as we were happily talking on the phone, an incoming call had to cut in. Great or what.

And right now when i haven't finish my conversation on my msn, he went offline already. Just what is happening? You tell me.

Apart from that, mummy forbid me from going esplanade on saturday, the day i'm leaving. There goes my another chance to meet him.

Oh fate, what game are you actually playing on me?

Dear you,

2010-03-10T22:35:00.004+08:00

Dear Mr Milkshake,

only god-know how many time have i been telling myself i misses you badly. It has been more than a week since i last lay my eyes on you. Not only that, we have been spending time lesser now. However, i am not blaming as i am fully understand that you have some other commitment. I am in no position to stop you or whatsoever. I am leaving in two weeks time and i really hope that i get to meet up with you and spend the last outing/dinner with you. I just want the night to fall at my feets once more. Hopefully you are willing to spend one more day with me.

Take an overview of Beijing.

2010-03-10T22:15:00.010+08:00

Will be departing for Beijing on 28th of March at 0110. But have to reach there like at least 3 hours before but i think i will reach even more earlier to celebrate one of my classmate birthday. It's even more exciting when i am taking Singapore Airline. Well i know i don't have to boast about it but it's my first time taking SI flight you see.

The hotels i'm staying is even sexciting like F used the word to describe something beyond words. It's even equip with internet connection so i still can surf and update. Not only that, i wish to pamper myself with spa session during my free time.

Hotel that i will be staying in Beijing and Tianjin.

Dipaksa dan Terpaksa.

2010-03-09T21:54:00.004+08:00

Mengahwini seseorang yang belum tentu dicintai adalah sangat sukar dan hari-hari yang akan dilalui pasti belum tentu bahagia. Walaupun pernah bercinta dan terlanjur dengannya sekalipun, seandainya kasih sayang itu tidak ada pada dirinya bukankah itu memeritkan?

Itulah yang terjadi kepada insan yang pernahku sayangi. Dia dipaksa mengahwini kekasihnya yang belum tentu dikasihinya. Dia yang selalu mematuhi ibunya terpaksa akur sahaja bila ibunya memutuskan untuk mengikat tali pernikahan antara mereka. Masalahnya bukan hanya di situ sahaja. Lagi rumit keadaannya bila seorang wanita yang mengaku dirinya sedang meghamili anak lelaki tersebut. Kecoh dibuat satu keluarga.

*I give up saying it in malay! Susah bangat!*

Well i know it's none of my business but i am so furious to know the outcome. Let's just name the guy as Shawn, the two girls as Rainy and Desiree. So here's the outcome. Rainy is the girl that is carrying Shawn's baby while Desiree is the girl that her virginity was broken by Shawn. I am pretty sure most of you would say, it's only right if he tied the knot with Rainy however he's mum insisted that he shall hold responsibiltity towards Desiree instead.

Wtf!!??

Wanna know why his mum take that decision?

Shawn's mum hated Rainy badly. His mum claimed that her way of living is too socialize and the baby that she's carrying can belong to any other guys. I really pity her. Seriously. As Desiree, she was cheating behind Shawn's back all along and many people are not aware of it except Shawn. Knowing Shawn for many many years, i am taken aback by the situation. All i can say is, i'm suspicious of Desiree and i suspected that she might seek help by using black magic. They are getting marry this week.

All i can say may God Almighty forgive all the sins and bless their wedding. As for Rainy, hope she will stay strong especially for the baby. Oh i forgot, she decided to keep the baby and then undergo DNA to prove to shawn's mum that the child is Shawn's.

Please know yourself.

2010-03-07T22:55:00.005+08:00

*While looking at the pictures above, i swear i miss my long hair.*

It's gonna be another heavy entry as i have alot to type.

Foremost chingay event. It was indeed the grandest and full of excitement. We were supposed to be seated by 7pm but we ended up settling down an hour later. It started bad as i was about to enter the gate, one of the usher had to come up and said there was typo error and my seat had changed to blue sector instead of yellow sector. Wtf!! Is there any difference? We still get to watch the whole performance. I had to walk all the way till the end once again. Oh ya did i told i walked all the way from Marina Square to Singapore Flyer. I had to walk again from one end to another end when i thought finally i get to rest my feets. We settled down just in time and the event commenced. It was enjoyable and eye candy to me especially when it come to fireworks segment. However i was quite disappointed with the duration. It was the shortest compared to previous years. Once the chingay was over with, i met up with Mr. Milkshake and headed down to our usual hangout and watched Wicked Aura Batucada performance. The whole crowd were grooving and dancing to the beat, rythm and songs.

It was wicked much!

The very next day, i headed down to esplanade to support abg wan performance. One of WAB member. We never fail to attend to any of their performances unless it was out of town. And abg wan were really good and at one point despite the flaws he managed to overcome it. Kudos to him and all the best for his perfomance in Melbourne.

As for me, my study trip to Beijing has been postponed to 28th of march instead.

Sumpah, i really had alot to talk about but out of sudden my mind went blank. I had really a rough days recently. I do not wish to talk about it now as i am not in the mood. However i do have something to convey to one particular person. She may read it otherwise. I'm sure her sister will.

I have been keeping quiet and following your rythm whenever i am out with you or in the house with you. By doing so, you concluded that i am afraid of you. You have been going around and telling tales about me. I knew it for long but i do not wish to prolong the matter and so i close one eye. But that day, that particular day, you have gone beyond my limits. When both of them told me all the rumours you told them about me. I swallowed every single details willingly but i was holding my anger back. If you were there right in front of my eyes, i swear i will confront you. The best part was that you told you so-called adopted mum that you ever lay hands on me. So dear cousin when was that? All i can remember that you have never lay hands on me except when we were young, very very young. You were full of yourself not realising that you have make a fool out of yourself.

Instead of settling the matter face to face, you texted me when i was on the way back to my crib. When i question why, you claimed that you are afraid you would beat me up. Well dear cousin, you may be bigger than me but your strength is no match than me. You said everything out and even said that i wouldn't lend you my property but i would lend your property. I don't wish to shame you but i think you deserved this. Please kindly take a look at yourself in the mirror. If you can fit in mine clothes, i will lend my clothes willingly to you. However, when you got hold of my clothes, you force yourself into it. Resulting when you return it to me, my clothes will either torn or being stretch out than it's original size.

One more thing, listen here extra carefully. I don't have the time going round and telling people with who you hooked up. I'm least interested. I don't get anything in return. Instead you should be the one reflecting yourself and stop going round telling people stories that did not even took place or go on exagerating it. You started the "game" and you go round blaming it on us. Since now you want to severe our ties then be my guest. I don't even give a hook. I will return every single thing that belong to you. I won't look you up if i want to share some news. I won't even mention your name ever. I won't even attend your wedding. All i can say please do some soul - searching.

Don't go on telling,

how "good" you are.

Cause in the end,

they will know your true colour.

*Its time to make a change.*

Insecure/General issues.

2010-02-16T02:07:00.004+08:00

Right now i am feeling insecure of myself.

Reason?

I don't know myself but i think i found the purpose and strength to overcome it and i shall do it. I shall prove to them i can do it too.

Just a general issues which doesn't concern any party.

Why have a blog when you set it to private? And go around telling people i don't want people to know about my life. Then you shouldn't have a created a blog. A blog is another source for us to pen down our daily encounter, experiences, feelings and ect.. But if you are saying that you set it to private because you don't want others to know about your life and such, instead you should have kept a diary where you write to yourself and no one will read it.

Right?

A blog is an islandwide website where people from all over the world can read it.It a place where you pour all your heart out and at the same time sharing your life experiences with people.

I used to set my blog to private but then when i thought to myself. If i were to set it to private then i have defeated the purposes of sharing it with people.

So why private it if you have it? Once again it doesn't concern anyone however if any of you felt the blow then it's your freaking business.

Till then i won't be blogging oftenly due to my exams.

Because you loved me.

2010-02-14T21:34:00.004+08:00

Although it was just a simple but it was actually nice and sweet. No expensive trip nor gift. Had late night dinner at Popeye and then went sheesha-ing at arab st. However i am sorry that i had to hold on to my gift for you. You wouldn't mind neither don't you?

Life have been difficult for us. There's alot that we had to go through. And i am just more than glad that you never ever give up on our love despite the fact that i have ever left you for another guy. I was just foolish. I admit i was wrong and i had my retribution but you always knew that i would come back to you and eventually i did. This time i won't walk away again.

Insya'allah

This is the critical moment for me. Two more weeks i will be facing the most important days which will determine mine future. Since then i have been dating notes and books non-stop. I can't let myself down this time. I don't want to disappoint those who never stop giving up on me. I will make sure this time victory will be mine.

If God willing.

' Cause i am your lady

and you are my man.

Whenever you reach me,

I'll do all that i can.

*I'll make sure that victory belong to me.*

Understand, no i don't!

2010-02-08T22:30:00.002+08:00

Dear you,

Why must it always turn out this way when the big day is drawing near? It happen every year without fail. I don't wish to remember those bad days but you just had to remind me about it. I don't know how many times i told you not to wear it and today you just had to make me angry. I don't understand why you have to do it. You had to spoilt my mood and now i just don't feel like finishing that little suprise i had started. I am clueless. Does't it even mean anything to you now? Or it's just a small gift like any other gift you had received. I just hope all this will come to an end the very next day when i open my eyes. Thanks again for making me weep.

Short notice.

2010-02-05T21:59:00.002+08:00

I think my lecturer is insane telling us in such a short notice. I have to raise 500 bucks in five dyas which is utterly impossible.
Not only that, i need a brand new camera before i leave for China. A cheap camera will also do. I won't want to be picky or choosy.

Any solution and recommendations?

I love you.

2010-02-01T23:37:00.007+08:00

Will you be my someone special!?
Remember how i pluck the couraged and whisper through your ear. Remember how shy i was and i was blushing away right after that. Remember how our love started to develop through the days. Remember the texts we exchanged while trying to express both our feelings but hide it away the moment i found out you were attached. Remember the first tears dropped while trying to let you go because i don't want to be the third party in your relationship. Remember how you convinced me that it was over between you guys when i refused to believe a single word. Remember the first time you held my hand and kissed me on my hair. Remember the first bear you give me on the *actual day*. Remember the first video you presented to me. Remember all those times?

I remember those days vividly. Reminiscing the past and would smiled to myself. I appreciated the past years being with you and i have the-above to thank for. I thank god for giving the second chance to salvage our relationship. Though it was hard at first but i'm glad we did it. I know your dad must be blessing us from wherever he is. I appreciate you for bearing with me back then when you knew i was still pondering bout the past with the ex and i thought i could never get over him. Now, all i could say i back in love with you. I don't care if people says you are not good-looking and such. So what if you are not good-looking. Look will just disappear in the matter of time. I can be myself whenever i'm with you. I can be at my best behaviour or even at my worst. You would still be right there beside me. Although the are certain threats out there, i'm gonna stick with like a super glue. You would just bear all the tantrum i throw

and for that i love you.

Friends my foot!

2010-01-24T22:58:00.004+08:00

Up and downs recently. School schedule has been superly hectic for me. I have been going home as late as 10 pm. Group work has been testing my patience. Group members has been so sucky. I mean when it comes to group work, you can truly see their true colours. And they have been so cocky by saying "i had to force her to do work otherwise she will be idling around". I'm suprised by the outcome. They have been talking behind my back or should i say in front of me in their own language as i am the only malay in the group. Well so-called friends here a middle finger to you. I understand every single word you said assholes. And asked yourself, if it weren't for me, we won't be handing in our assignment on time and in fact the first to do it. If i hadn't stayed up late solving all the problems one of our members created while you guys were having your beauty sleep, we would not have been given the green light to proceed. I have problem with time management!?

Fuck you!

If you guys had cracked your brain and participated by throwing your ideas, things would have been easier for me. Instead i was left alone solving it, drawing the diagram and stuff. Yeah you did help LITERALLY. Some of you give me reasons, i have some other projects to do. Do you think i am super free then!? I have projects to do too.

For once, i thought to myself are you worthy to call friend?

On a lighter note, i went to esplanade and watched events. You guys were great. Absolutely mind-blowing. I won't be suprise if you guys made a name or even appears in the paper.

I am sorry i didn't make it there. I am just happy for you guys.

Jamal aka Mr. Milkshake twin was great too. I believe you will made it through. You had your break and i know you will make full use of it same goes to Mr. Milkshake. I will be behind all of you supporting.

As for me, god-knows just how much i miss dancing. School schedule has been so hectic forbidding me to attend training. While i was happily training for the upcoming big event, i was hit by a big news. Frankly i don't know should i feel happy or otherwise. I thought i will be happy but as day goes by, i seem not to get excited when the date draw nearer.

For now, i just hope things would get better and i'll be able to go through this semester peacefully.

*cross finger*

I am feeling much more better,

especially with you around.

*I just hope it will not come to an end.*

Fight for this love

2010-01-22T02:09:00.002+08:00

Too much of anything can make you sick, even the good can be a curse.
Makes it hard to know which road to go down, knowing too much can get you hurt.
Is it better? Is it worst?
Are we sitting in reverse?
It's just like we're going backwards.
I know where i want this to go.
Driving fast but let's go slow.
What i don't want do is crash, no!

Study Overseas.

2010-01-18T16:21:00.002+08:00

I am really happy, delighted, elated and whatever words in the dictionary that describe happy.
It has been my dreams to study abroad whether is for short or for long.
I have both good and bad news.
I am still going abroad unfortunately its not Europe anymore.
It has been change to China/Beijing.
Will be leaving on the 6th of March.
And i just found out it falls on the same day as my big performance.
I have to choose either one thus i have to forget about performing.
I am sure they will understand.
My studies and future is my main priority.
Girls, please make yourself free on the date i have told you ok.

I am over you!

2010-01-17T17:07:00.001+08:00

Selfish

2010-01-14T17:19:00.002+08:00

Now when its time for project work, i have to be selfish and forget the word friendship.

Especially when you group with them couple of times and they leave all the tasks to you.

I had enough and so i drop the idea of grouping with them again.

I had to do this in future for me to score higher.

I am sorry but you do not determine my future.

It's in my own hand.

Back to being a kid.

2010-01-10T01:52:00.005+08:00

Nothing much lately, just got back from a short escape with big brother and families to esplanade and Mustaffa Centre. Anyway i know it's already late but i am still going to do it anyway.

Well countdown was really a big letdown and a total disappointment. I went celebrated it with the girlfriends and Mr. Milkshake was there to but he had some performance to do.

Foremost, the place was flooded with indian and when i say indian i mean bangladesh. It really turns me off looking at their attitude. I was dancing away with the girlfriends and this morons tried to do some body contact. Finally i just sat down and watch the rest dance the night away. Remember about the news of a girl getting molested!? Well guess what i saw one of the guy. And he came with a philipine girl if i am not mistaken. They were acting damn intimately and i just feel like puking looking at how they behave. Apart from that, the price of the food and beverages was too much. A sandwich cost 10 bucks! And it's merely fill with chicken ham and cheese. Worst still, it's only 2 slices cut into four. More like a daylight robbery to me. A cup of drink cast 10 bucks too. The vendors must have earned alot of profits at the end of the day.

To think on a lighter side, last wednesday i went to watch avatar 3D and wow. It was extremely awesome. It was already my second time. Then we decided to go sheesha-ing as we had nothing to do. We went to Al-Lazaat and the ambience is not really that fascinating compared to Al-Aladin.

Soon after i was already getting bored when Ben sugested to play Tai Ti but it was no fun as Mr. Milkshake doesn't play cards and so Ben sugested to play Heart Attack instead. It was hilarious. Our table was the noisiest and the rest were looking at us. I then suggested to play donkey and it suprised me when they had no objection. Well they are police officers and they are way older than me and so i thought they would not play this kind of game. Bottomline is we were like small kids that day recalling each and every game that we used to play when we were youngs.

You were there to light my days,

you were there to guide me through.

When my days are down and up,

I'll never stop thinking of you.

*Boy, who know who you are.*

Red-handed.

2010-01-05T15:28:00.004+08:00

She was walking home when her phone suddenly rang,

She: Hello..
A girl voice: Fucked me baby. Fucked me hard *insertname*. Fucked me like you never fucked anyone before.
She: *look at the phone* and just continue hearing.
Out of sudden it went quiet and the phone was hung up.

Couple of hours later her phone beeps,

Boy: Hello.
Boy: C'mon bout just now i can explain. It's not what you think it is. It's a video that my friend sent to me.
She: Save your breath. There's no need for you to make any explaination. Your game has just ended even before you have started it dude. Now i don't wish to hear from you anymore. And if you think i am heartbroken then you are absolutely mistaken.

Goodbye 2009, welcome 2010!

2009-12-31T14:32:00.004+08:00

Marah sampai lupa pula nak menerima tahun baru dengan tangan terbuka.
So this is it huh? How time flies so fast!?
It felt like it was only yesterday i woke up upon receiving texts from friends wishing Happy 2009. And now its already 31st and it's eve of new year. Just can't wait to celebrate countdown with my girlfriend for 7 years and still counting.

2009 has bring me alot of up and down. Starting of the year we had photoshoot along with Songsang production casts and crews. Most importantly it brought me closer with the girls and i just couldn't love them more. After that was the auditions for Kolej 56 and the trip to Negri Sembilan. That was when an opportunity opened up for me thanks to {youknowyoursefl}. I thank you for all the guidance and such. I met wonderful people like Syirah, Saiful, Nadiah, Ain and lot more. It will take up alot of space if i mention all the names. I fell in love deeply madly and truly. I get to know his family members and i love them like my own and one day it tumbled down on the day he walked out on me. However thanks to new friends like Farah, Faiz and Su especially his sister Rara who where there during those times and bring laughter back in my life. Thanks alot lovelies. I love you guys!
:D

And now i am slowly leading my life back again with my girlfriends and MR. Milkshake who's always there for me. And i am going to put those bad nightmares behind me bringing happy moments together with me in 2010.
New resolutions!?
Yet to figure out. Will do so once the clock strive 12.
Lastly Happy New Year!

Leading a new life,
without you who use to make me believe.

*You now i still care.*

How much do you really know me!?

2009-12-31T12:20:00.002+08:00

You claimed i always go back home late and used school as an excuse for me to have time with my friends outside!?
Are you stupid or what!?
Comparing my schedule with the school in front our place!?
Since when i used school as an excuse huh?
I always tell the truth nowadays. If i am outside with my friends i said i am with them and if i said i am in school, i jolly well am in school.
Stop saying you guys are not stupid.
Of course you guys are not stupid otherwise you won't be fucking around and producing babies idiot!
And i really had to stay in school as late as 10 pm because firstly its a group work and secondly we don't have the software at home.
Hey, kalau ikutkan hati da lama aku nak lari diri dari rumah and aku boleh malukan korang dalam sekelip mata sahaja.
But i choose not too cause i still have that little respect for the both of you.
And please tell that husband of yours, stop intruding into my affairs because he will never ever replace MY FATHER place.
GET IT!!
Oh ya, you always tell your friends that i always side my dad who used to be your husband. Yes i always did and will always be on his side. You know why mummy!? Although we hardly see each other, although you called him a timid and such, he know me best! He knows what i wants and he is always there to give me encouraging word.
How about you!? Have you ever said you are proud of me!? Bring me up when i am down!? Hug me and kiss me on my forehead!? Have you!?
Hell no!!
I think i have decided to stay with bibik ina if this continues and when it happen i won't want to wish to even come back.
Period!

Who the hell you think you are!?

2009-12-29T01:49:00.006+08:00

I jolly well know friends come and go. So save that same old saying because you have no idea. You make friends for keep, no matter what it takes to make the friendship going.

I am not gonna talk about age cause sometime the older seek advice from the younger ones.

I dont know if i should even say this.

You may read it or not but i don't freaking care.

Because of you, he is lying unmotionly.

You gave him all the hopes and it came tumbling down when he saw you with another guy.

You left him just like that without any goodbyes or reasons.

Ignoring him and such.

No more texts from you even just a simple hi.

And when he text you, he don't freaking received any reply.

And so he chose to stop hoping and texting.

And out of sudden you appeared from nowhere and telling him off saying he's change!?

Saying you are concern?

Hey, where are your concern for the past months then?

And oh no girl, don't say we have no idea.

Cause been there and freaking FELT that.

Been in ite and tell me,

how many of them can you really call friends or friends for keep like you say!?

How many can you trust!?

Only a fucking handful of them bitch!

Oh just wait you have not been in ite don't you?

So you don't know how it feel like.

So don't talk about it ok.

Just don't let me see you cause it just irks me.

Final Showdown!

2009-12-29T00:43:00.005+08:00

My weekends were spent splendidly.

On christmas i made my way down to O'learys and indulged myself with their delicious feasts while enjoying kak ana's live band. She's just gorgeous and she had such a great voice despite her bloating tummy.

Straight after that i walked to DXO since its not that far and what else partied all night. Moving my feets off at the dance floor. Its been such a very very long time since i club. It really sweeps my messing minds off.

And of course met new fantastic peeps.

I went indoor stadium last sunday to catch the final showdown between Sezairi and Slyvia.

Trust me it was crazy. Crazy as it can be. Sezairi was looking good and cute while Slyvia was simply hot.

Taufik was really hot hot hot.

I just can't figured out who's gonna be crowned the winner simply because both of them were superb. I can't deny though that i was hoping so much for Sezairi to be the next idol and BOOMZ,

i was right.

I was shouting my lungs out when the annoucement was made.
Malay guys third in a rows. Wow!

Singapore idol should change to "Idola Singapura!" instead.

And now i'm begging Mr. Milkshake to bring me to meet Sezairi as he happen to know one of his band member who i have met couples of time but never once talk.

Insya'allah.

Not forgetting Charice.

All this while i have been watching her on youtube and i get to see her live.

She's only seventeen and she have such a big voice.

Oh my, she really blown me away!

Troubled times,

caught between confusion and pain.

Distant eyes,

promises we made were in vain.

*Miss you love.*

Singapore Idol Finals

2009-12-25T01:03:00.002+08:00

Row 9

Seats 13, 14, 15 and 16!

Happy Once again.

2009-12-24T23:28:00.003+08:00

Just came back from Christmas eve party.

Party all night tomorrow.

Sunday indoor stadium to catch Singapore Idol Final with the happening people.

And now the lil one is here thus busy entertaining all her swings.

Woots!

Cant't be happier than this.

Proper update will be done asap.

Lastly, to all Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

2009-12-18T00:03:00.001+08:00

I'm more than what you made of me.
I follow the voice you think you gave to me.

listen!

2009-12-17T23:14:00.003+08:00

Long hiatus huh?

Well what can i say.

I have been having alot of fun lately with {youknowyourself}.Until i could foresee history is repeating itself. I just don't understand! Must all good thing come to an end!?

First it was Aidil who broke my heart into million pieces and now is it gonna be you!? Again for the same reason i left? Just tell me, is this just another revenge or retribution?

Just fuck off ok.

You just have to try a lil bit better than that to prove it to me.

I am not that fragile girl anymore.

Oh ya, middleman just don't work here.

Not to me.

Anyway tomorrow is the results for all N level.

All the best for all N level takers especially to my dearest cousin, ita and not forgetting rara.

Don't forget to text me when you receive your results ok. I know you guys did your best and can do it! GABATTE KUDASAI!!

Korang yang nak amek aku yang nervous.

Saturday i might return back to training after so long. Not only that, but to collect K56 allowance. Like finally after months. So i hope no more grievances about the casts after these. I don't really care about the money actually but more to the friendship that we have made unfortunately it was only for a temporary. I don't feel it anymore. And money issues was the root of it i must say. Firstly, we all know that its a non-profit organisations afterall thus why all this must happen? At the end of the day what do we gained other then hatred among each other?

I seriously don't know and wish to stay out of this. I did what i had to do and got my share. That's all matter.

Now i'm done believing you.

You don't now what i'm feeling.

*You should have listen.*

AIDA!

2009-12-08T23:37:00.004+08:00

Sumpah aida malas nk blog.

Too many things happened for the past few days.

Being emotional has got on me. I don't know why. I am not heartbroken or what.

Nonetheless, i'll just update a bit about what happened.

Last weekend i went to Indonesia to attend a relative function. It was an unforgettable event i must say. Some of you may know what had happenned.

*Grinning*

My uncle suprised me by invited me on stage to sing a song for them. I was damn shy and nervous la seh. Beside that it's live band and there is no plasma tv for you to look at the lyrics. Most challenging was they only know a handful of songs out from their genre thus i sand "BETE". A song which most of us mistook it as "PEPEK" and i know the lyrics well. We dance in the rain and really enjoyed ourselves.

A song were dedicated to me tittled dilema cinta. It was sung by Randi also known as Charlie a guy from the band. He even dedicated "CARI JODOH" to my mum. WTH!?

And one of the guy from the band walked up to me and told me he had a crush on me.

What the hell!!?

He's only sixteen for goodness sake.

Pictures can be found in my multiply.

My name is aida.

I live on the fifth floor.

I live upstairs from you.

Yes i think you have seen me before.

*Because of you.*

Too much

2009-12-03T00:27:00.004+08:00

Well well well so this is it. The big day is drawing near. Its coming in 4 more days. I have not really been dating my books. It was on on and off basis. I guess its time for me to knock myself against the wall and pull my socks up to pull this through.

Anyway i went to watch three different movies on last friday and today. I watched Ninja Assasins and Paranormal activity on friday. Ninja assasins was alright i would say. Not really to my expectation. Straight after that cabbed down to Tampines mall to watch Paranormal Activity and hell! Being a timid, it scared the wits out of me. I was like closing my eyes most of the time and i was breathing hard catching every single of my breath. I even couldn't sleep a wink at night.

And today i went to catch Raging Phoenix. This is a must watch movie for actions lover. I would rate it 8 out of 10 and i would not mind watching it again and again. Even while watching it, i told myself to buy the DVD if its out. I'm gonna get that. After that i rush back to watch Singapore Idol. It has been weeks i have not been watching it and this time round i must watch it. My heart was thumping fast when Gurmit was announcing who's going to the next round especially knowing that Sezairi was in the bottom two. Luckily he made it through. Furthermore i find him the next Taufik like seriously la.

On the other hand, i don't when am i going to pass my license as i want it badly. Hopefully to get it by end of next year. So i can travel conveniently.

*Cross finger*

Going to take my next attempt on the 22nd, third attempt to be precise. I am jealous of abang cause he is way ahead of me. Taking his practical and waiting for his TP.

Geram la sangat.

Thinking on the brighter side. I am going to Europe for overseas study trip like finally. Thanks to F and daddy advice. Leaving next year and hopefully by then i could raise 3K for the expenses. Daddy told me not to worry about the cost as he will bear it totally. I have been giving France and Germany a miss back then due to some personal reasons. Once in a lifetime opportunity huh? But its already thrice for me and i guess this is gonna be my last call. Hopes i won't change my mind again.

Take it or leave it.

Going to be in one of the university in Frankfurt. My oh my, i can't wait and at the same i am scare because i am scare to be alone. A lot of things is running through my head like who is going to be my roommate, what kind of people am i going to meet and such.

Love is blind, as far as the eyes can see.

Deep and meaningless, words to me.

*Everything is back to square one. Tell me what am i suppose to do.*

Let love lead the way.

2009-11-30T23:11:00.003+08:00

Part of me laughs,
Part of me cries.
Part of me wants to question why.
Why is there joy
and why is there pain.
Why is there sunshine and the rain.
One day you are here,
Next you are gone.
No matter what we must go on.
Just keep the faith.

Fun-Fab-Awe

2009-11-25T15:54:00.005+08:00

Currently in school library waiting for Faizal to either call or text. Will be meeting him just to hang around and catch up with each other. He wanted me to go to his school all the way at clementi.

wth! I'm at Tampines for goodness sake and i don't want to travel all the way there. So in the end he said he will decide and i have to wait for his calls. However, hoping for him to say let's meet up at ang mo kio.
*cross fingers*

Anyway i went for the leadership camp during the weekends and did i tell you it was awesome!?
Despite the turn out for the camp was rather pathetic. Well on the brighter side, i really enjoyed it although we were being "torture" and i am still recovering from the ache and muscle cramps. Thanks la ehk facis for the "great workout".! I enjoyed most battling it out with Nad and Anis. although Taufik moves was insane and hilarious. We attracted the others attention.

BSB.

Spice girls.

Baik arh!
I had a fabulous time at wild wild wet however i thought i could overcome my fears of height. Eventually the attemp was wasted. I stopped halfway the stairs leaving Faiz alone for the "Samsung Slide" was it. I'm sorry Faiz. Insya'allah ok i will try. Bottom line is i had the greatest times.

My oh my! I changed my phone again for god-knows how many times. I change to N97 mini Raoul limited edition. I am loving it dearly. Taking care of it as it worth my life. And this time round, i MUST make sure this phone last me for the entire 2 years.

Aku menunggumu,
di tempat biasa.
Kuharap kau datang,
jangan terlambat..
-____-

*Remember those times.*

Left!

2009-11-21T00:53:00.003+08:00

Finally things are back to square one where there is only five of us in the family. The lil one has left us. Her parent took her away in the afternoon. Now it was her turn to leave me forever. Why all good things must come to an end? It sucks even more when i don't even get to kiss her goodbye. I shouldn't have ignored the calls just now. It must be her calling me. She took away everything that belong to her leaving nothing behind as a token to remind her. I am feeling alone right now. She took "our" pictures with her.

Life will get so dull now without her in my life. No one to wipe away my tears when i cry. No one to cheer me up when i am down. This house will be as good as house of the dead. No more laughter will be heard. No more sight of her shouting my name the moment i came back from somewhere. No more hearing her voice pestering to either bring her out or buy her, her favourite toys. I am missing her so much right now.

However i was glad she spent the whole night with me. Although it was only for couple of hours but every moment spent was priceless. She put her body next to mine and we cuddled each other. We drew pictures together. I played along with her childish game. It was worthwhile.

If you know something wasn't right,

just don't ask me how i am.

*If it's wrong to love you.*

So much for...

2009-11-18T01:26:00.003+08:00

He said i am a bad liar.
He said look at yourself, what a person you are.
He said fuck you!

But hey look at youself!
So much for saying "i will try so much to forget the past".
She already did but did you boy!?

Sunshine of my life!

2009-11-17T22:47:00.007+08:00

And so yesterday i met up with the lovelies again and finally, this time with F around. Unfortunately suu can't make it perhap she have some other errands. We headed down to Marina Square and waited for Faiz at MacD. We saw Abg Hamzah at the corner and i decided to just come up to him and say hi. He updated me about something but let just not elaborate about it. All i can say is i don't wish to get involve.

We had our dinner and as usual laughter was around us. Seriously it was so kecohrable! We took "photo" and photo. You guys know what i mean by "photo".

Hahahaha.

Faiz you are cute sometime especially the bello-ness side of you. After sometime Rara suggested to go esplanade and so off we went leaving Abg and rest behind. Furthermore it was supposed to be "our" outing. We bought ourselves cup corn except for F. And please i still think that "soup" as Faiz called it, is so oily and greasy.

Period.

Dear RAFFS,

i am glad that i met you guys in this journey of my life. I have alot of friends but not all were as true as you guys. Although the friendship has just build up but i know deep down it will never stop here and will last for as long as we have each other. I enjoyed every moment spent. Whenever i'm with you guys, it seem like all trouble has been wash away and cruelty was never mine. And so promise me that this friendship will never end and we will be there for each other through thick and thin.

Nevertheless ily!

===================================================================

As a handful of you guys has been asking and wondering what kind of shoes i bought that$310? So above is a picture of it or you can go google it. Its Supra Brand.

Anyway did i told you guys that my hair is short and it's in red!? I'm totally in love with it despite people telling me that i look more chubbier. In fact that's what make me, me! On top of that i have change my number so assholes, you can get through me no more. No more prank calls from you losers!

This friday is officially the lil one last day. Her parents are taking her back and i am so gonna miss her. I hope her parent will change her mind and let her live with us again for another year.

*cross fingers*

Even though its a new chapter,

sometime i found myself sitting in a corner,

crying my heart out.

*Boy, its either for you or him.*

Everything is fine now!

2009-11-11T00:31:00.004+08:00

I'm down with bad sickness due to tiredness i guess. The medicines is definitely not doing any good. Instead i felt worst. On top of that, i have menses cramp to add in the misery. Fuck! I am so famish but no appetite to eat. I have been resting all day long. I hope i will get better tomorrow. I can't always miss lesson in fact i can't afford to miss any lesson.

Anyway last friday i bought myself an entertainment gadget. I bought DS Lite. And i love it even more because its in PINK! Saturday and Sunday went out with Mr. Milkshake and do a little shopping. No! Not a lil but alot!! I bought alot of stuffs and it cost me close to four digits number. I bought shoes at Supra which cost me three digits number. It caught my eyes the moment i stepped into the shop. Mum nagged at me non - stop when she found out. Well just turn deaf ear. And now i can't wait for sixteenth to come.
:)

===================================================================

I am glad that you still choose to wait on me. We had a big misunderstanding between us back then. We chose to reconcile and give each other the last chance. And now things are getting all hype up i must say. You know me best than anyone else. You are my greatest man, friend, brother and family. Please don't let it come to an end. I am not going to promise anything because deep down you know i am still trying. However, i will try to my best ability to make it work. I am gonna be the same girl you met. <3
:)

Seeing but not perceiving,
hearing but not listening.

*Let's do this!*

You made me laugh.

2009-11-09T19:38:00.005+08:00

She: Its real chocolate.
He:How you know?
She:Because its tasteless.

A whole new chapter.

2009-11-02T19:19:00.008+08:00

Once again i went out with the lovelies to RP. This time Faiz tagged along. Well the production start later than the stated time. It was forgiven because the production was entertaining and hilarious at certain point. However i find that the storyline was kind of the same as our production few months backs. Nevertheless i still enjoyed it. Right after that we settled down at civic mac to have our so-called late dinner. That's where all the fun started. We were the noisiest, laughing, disturbing and took our turns to irritate Faiz.
Hahahaha..
No offence ehk Faiz.
:D

Next outing is on the sixteenth babes and a dude! I can't wait!
:)

I watched MJ This Is It on the 30th. I went with Mr. Milkshake. It was great featuring all his hits song like Thriller, Man in the Mirror, I'll be there, Human Nature, They Don't Really Care About Us and many more. Eventhough MJ is no longer on earth, his presence was felt when we were watching the documentary.
LONG LIVE THE KING OF POP!
GODBLESS!

I didn't attend school today as my eye have some allergies going on thus i decided to take a mc. Mr. Milkshake was sweet enough to accompany me. (like always)
:-D

The waiting time was freaking long. Imagined, i actually managed to have my breakfast at LJS and came back to the clinic but still, my number was not being called yet. I was fuming mad. My eyes has been irritating me and yet the damn fcuking doctor is taking her fcuking sweet time. Soon after, we went to catch a movie at a nearby cinema. We watched Jennifer's Body and MEGAN FOX was freaking hot hot hot! WEEEEWEEET!
{This was written by Mr. Milkshake himself.}
*roll eyes*

Because of everything you share,
Because of the promises you've made,
Because of your undying love.

*Boy, i have decided to give ourselves another chance. The last chance!*

====================================================================

My heart broke into pieces previously but family, friends and loved ones has been putting it back together again slowly. Their genuine care and concern moved me and it was like a wake up call for me. With that i have decided to put the past behind me and move on with life.

Thinking about him every now and then really kills me. My life has been miserable. All this while memories of him has been living in me and that's what keep me going. However, now it's time for me to let it go slowly. Loving him doesn't mean i have to end up being with him right? It content me knowing that he is happy with his life now. Somehow i thank him for creating sweet memories while we were together. Yes i have lose him and his love but it was a blessing in disguise. I have lose one but i received plenty in return. Thus, for that, i thank him. Nevertheless there is still something that i want back badly. Something that contain my future.

Thanks Rara, Suu, Faiz and F for being there with me! :D

You have move on and so,
i'll leave you alone now wishing you all the best.

*Boy, once i told you. you may not be the first but you're the last.*

Stop now!

2009-10-29T23:01:00.002+08:00

Seriously everything have to put a stop now.

Right here, right now before i turn insane!

Unfaithfully Yours!

2009-10-28T23:57:00.003+08:00

I have been going out to places. I just came back from town two hours ago. I went to take a ride on the Singapore Flyer with the lil one, bro, mum and uncle. It was my second ride thus nothing much to elaborate on it. Right after that we filled our stomach with popeye's meal.

Yesterday i went out with Anis and two other guy friends. We went to watch Project X at esplanade. Project X nailed it! It was a blast and double awesome. The dance, band and breakdancing esp bbox. Did i said it correctly? Oh whatever it is, we really enjoyed ourselves beside one of the dancer is freaking cute! Right Anis?

We were shouting and clapping like nobody business. We were enjoying so much till we forgot that we had two more friends with us. They were sitting quietly while me and Anis were like mad woman. At the end of the show, we were given the priviledged to meet and greet them personally unfortunately we give it a missed due to time constraint. Macam paham aida! Ok ok i just hate waiting. We made our way to Marina Square and settled down at Starbucks. We quenched our thirst and slacked for awhile before heading home. On the way home, i stopped at HMV and bought MJ Tees. I'm so in love with it!

Thanks Anis for reminding me about Project X if not i wouldn't get the chance to set my eyes on that cute dancer.

So now i can't wait for sunday to come as i'm meeting the lovelies once again. We're gonna catch a Malay Production at RP. Faiz is tagging along so double the fun-ness! However, i'm going to Huda's engagement before that. I still can't believe nevertheless i am happy for you. I'm glad you found your Mr Right! May god bless your relationship.

Amin

====================================================================

She cut her wrist and blood were gushing out. It was indeed deep and painful but it was nothing compared to the pain in her heart. She felt that it was time for her and she had once again failed in battling. Just as she wanted to close her eyes, her phone vibrated. It was a call from someone and she knew she had to meet him and so she put wiped the blood away, bandanged it and put on her jacket. They were talking seriously. He had found out the truth and was badly hurt. She knew she can't denied it anymore. She was indeed using him to make her forget someone. She can lie to the whole world but not to herself. Yet again, she burst into tears. She hate herself so much.

He never gave up on her even when he knew she had move on.

He was always there when she was down.

He would bring her to the clinic whenever she was sick without caring about the time and cost.

He would buy her food knowing she would skipped meals.

He brought her to her favourite places or shopping knowing it would cheer her up.

BUT

She had lost interest in all that! She tried so hard to forget but she just can't seem to do it. Despite what you done, she still can't bring herself to do it. He is a great friend but to go beyond that.... She just can't and she feel so sorry.

Dear{youknowyourself},

Please don't press me further. I don't have any answers to your question. All i can say is i'm truly sorry and i'm still trying. I know you have been always ther by my side all this while especially during this ordeal and i can't thank you enough. I know you are wondering if i can forget a three years relationship just like that thus why i can't do the same for a couple months? I myself don't know why. He left a huge impact on me that explained how it's so frigging hard to get over him. I know you said i was stupid. He must have been enjoying himself now while i am fighting against my own feeling. Just let me be alright. Time will heal it. I'm sure! I know the truth has hurt you but i am too! I shouldn't have done it to you but i have also never said those three letter words to you neither. You deserved someone better. Someone who love you. You are an amazing guy but i can't seem to love anymore.To me there are no more nice guy out there. It doesn't carries any meaning to me anymore. It's just plain. I'm sorry. Just forget alright.

I shouldn't have dwell about the past,

but that's what keep me going.

*Boy, because of you, i have....*

Phew!

2009-10-22T19:11:00.004+08:00

Finally there are plenty of them who are kind enough to accompany me to the production. Since the response was quite overwhelming,i have decided to get another two more tickets. Its quite useful sending invitation through blogging uh? Hahahaha.. I'm going with Faiz, Mira and Suu. Thank you guys. Sadly, F can't go due to her critical day. No worries babe, there's definitely some other day for us.
:D

Crush is an infactuation, a feeling which usually don't last long. And i believe that is what you are feeling boy. How long have you known me? Months? Years? Its not even a week neither and you dare come up to me and say you love me? Oh boy, don't say you love me because you don't really know me and c'mon we hardly see each other. Its only during Maths class and Lecture. Furthermore we rarely talk to each other. You don't even have my cell phone number. Yes, we did talked that much for the entire Maths tutorial class but that doesn't determine your feeling are true. For a moment you just made me laughed and despised you. You know, you really remind me of someone. Your name start with the same alphabet too. Tell me, are you a clone of him or what? And history of the past came haunting me back. I only have this to tell you boy, i know your game like the back of my hand and i won't fall for that. I know so well what kind of chap you are so turn around and start looking for another victim who will fall in your trap. Don't try that on me cause your plan will backfire.

So long dude!

My life!

2009-10-21T21:39:00.004+08:00

Let start with reminding you again that its my life and i will live my life the way i want it to be. I hate the fact that you are controlling my life. You are my man, my best friend, my family and my brother too but that doesn't give you the authority to tell me what to do. I respected you and i hope to get the same from you too. I know you mean well but then again, no matter what you asked me to do.. For instance, asking me to delete those pictures and stuff, it will never erase him from my memories. Just like putting a broken vase back together again. The crack is still visible and you can do absolute nothing to make it disappear. Same goes with memories. It will be installed permanently in my mind. No matter how hard i have been hurt, memories are the only thing left. I hope you understand. I am back to the girl i used to be, loud, smiling, cracking jokes and laughing my ass off. I am moving on ain't i?

Apart from that, i do appreciate but things are different now. Don't you think so? Thing aren't the way it used to be. I'm still trying to mend my heart but one thing i am very sure of is that it's gonna be a whole new chapter full of new friends that will be there for me through thick and thin. My life will fills with laughter once again. I made new friends and i felt so lucky to met them as friend. They may be younger than me but i don't give a hook. Sometime the older ones need to learn from the younger ones. However, I still need you here and i know you are aware of it too. I'll just take one step at a time.

Anyway, i happen to have spare ticket to Malay Production at Republic Poly. Kental ah lu mat Production. I heard its gonna be interesting. So if anyone of you are interested to go with me just text me on my cell phone ok. First come first serve basis. You don't have to pay for the ticket. I just don't want the ticket to go to a waste. Just bring your butt along with me to RP. Its on the 1st of november at 8 pm.

I am exhausted.

I wish to sleep forever.

*Boy, i am exhausted.*

Alone right now!

2009-10-17T20:28:00.005+08:00

Currently in my crib watching plenty of VCDs and DVDs alone. Mummy has went out with her friends and so does my dad. The lil one is out with her parent too. So here i am alone having VCDs/DVDs marathon. Nothing much for me to update though.

Talking bout the lil one. She did it again. She arranged back the things nicely to its original places. I guess i have to leave it there till she return to her parent. Apart from that, mummy told me that yesterday she did something so cute. She went out with classmates to Jurong bird park. When she's back, she slept with her raincoat on. The trip must have tire her out cause she slept longer than usual. When she woke up, mummy asked her...

Mummy : Why you sleep with your raincoat on?

Fira : Because just now at the park it wasn't raining and i dont get the chance to wear it.

I can imagined her face expression. She just never failed to make us smile or laugh.

Ade jer karenah dier.

Anyway i am moving on now slowly with friends around me who never stop caring. I have been spending most of my times outside now. My parent has been understanding ever since they found out how hard i fall. Yesterday i had dance workshop at esplanade. It was a great one indeed. Their dance were superb and i'm watching their performance tomorrow after my show. Giving Impak Maksima a miss. However, all this must stop once my semester start again this monday.

Thanks for loving me for that short period of times.

Thanks for all the care and concern.

Thanks for the little sacrifices.

Thanks for the things you did on my big day.

Thanks for the songs dedication.

Thanks for all the happy times.

Thanks for all the sharings.

Thanks for those intimacy.

Thanks for all the mood swings.

Thanks for all the scoldings.

Thanks for all the arguments and disagreements.

Thanks for all the tears.

Lastly...

Thanks for all the LIES!

*Boy, thanks for all the little things.*

Same script, different cast!

2009-10-15T15:05:00.001+08:00

Great Escapes!

2009-10-14T23:43:00.020+08:00

Bear wit me as it's gonna be a heavy entry with pictures along,
:D

The short getaway pretty much help me to put my mind at ease. Yes! I went Batam, Nagoya. Supposed to catch the last ferry on saturday night unfortunately it was impossible as i had Salam Lebaran Performance and i get the chance to meet up closely with Haizat and esp. Dayang Nur Faizah which i wouldn't want to give it a miss. Thus, i catched the morning ferry to Habourbay. My cousin was nice enough to make the trip with me. My uncle picked us up over at Habourbay. First stop, we went to electrical stores. As my uncle wanted to get a new Television set. My uncle was sure very good at bargaining. Then we proceeded to his place to visit the newborn baby. She's is so adorable. My uncle wanted us to stay over at his place so much but being me as usual not use to kampong life insisted on staying in the hotel. After much negotiation, he give in and we checked in to the nearest hotel. My mum tagged along as she can't adapt to the environment. My uncle booked two rooms. One for mummy and another for my cousin and myself. We had the whole room to ourselves. We went sightseeing and my uncle's friend's brought us to the long bridge which look more alike like the one we had along Singapore River if i'm not wrong. While i was enjoying the scenery, mummy came up to me and...
Mummy: Kak do you know Aidil is Pak Long boy cousin?
Me: Huh? Really? How you know?
Mummy: Pak Long Boy aunt came up to me and told me. She also asked me whether are you seeing him.
Me: Oh okay. What a small world. At we're not related right. It's him and Pak Long Boy. For now please don't ask me anything.

Indeed what a small world!
And i'm ignoring the lil one as she will asked for him all the times.

Since i promised to date her out once her Ns are over and so today i went out with two lovely ladies. Mira and Suu. Meet up at Bugis and we headed to Tong Seng to fill our stomach. I wanted to bring someone else along too but i know she's busy preparing for her Major papers. Hopefully there is next time for us. :)
Next we went to Haji Lane and "pampered" ourselves with sheesha-ing. We tried cherry and mango flavour. It was ok, not that strong. As usual being girls we camwhore and we talked about everything, joke and laughed our ass off. Out of sudden, Suu asked me.

Suu: Kak, don't you want to look for a replacement?
Me: (smiled and shake my head) Suu, we girls, when we fall in love, we fall hard but boys... They only have one thing in their mind.
Suu: You still love him don't you?

And it went on.. Bottom line, I really had hell of great time with them!
:D

Tomorrow i'm not going back home. Staying over somewhere with someone who really can understand me where i know i can put my mind off at ease. Somewhere, where i'll just smile frome ear to ear. Laughter will fill my daily days again. I'm sure life will turn around for me and i'm gonna lead a wonderful life. Just the way i want it to be.
Insya'allah.
:)

And i'm taking a very long break from Variasi Performing Arts. This sunday will be my last performance. Time to let the others a chance.. Will be back by late December. Thus, kalau K56 menjadi they have to find a replacement..

P/S:More pics will be uploaded either in my facebook or multiply...

Salam Lebaran Pics...

Nagoya's Pics...

Norzalika Mutiara Binte Razali

Pics with the lovelies...

As i was doing some clearing up i came upon pictures when Me, abang and adek were small so here some of it to share with you...

Spot me..
My baby photo..

My adek.

Me and abang..

As long as i'm still breathing,

i'm still beating...

*Boy, this is what hurt the most!*

Missing someone!

2009-10-13T17:30:00.001+08:00

Fuck up!
Why am i still missing you after what you have done to me!?
Go to hell!!

I love you,
I miss you,
I need you.

*Boy tell me how am i supposed to hate you!*

Movies marathon.

2009-09-28T12:46:00.005+08:00

Things are back to where it supposed to be. I'm elated. Past few days were spent wisely and splendidly. I watched the ugly truth and aliens in the antics at home. Had rehearsals and I went to catch a movie with Bby. We watched..

It wasn't that much enjoyable.
So i woudn't recommend anyone to watch it.
Just wait for the dvd to come out or watch it online.

*Baby, your time had been taken away and i'm feeling lonely now.*

I'm so tired!

2009-09-25T22:03:00.008+08:00

Another tiring day for me. Relatives flooded my crib today and it was fun. Laughter filled in the house followed by "hot gossips". Apart from all the tears that has been flowing during forgiveness, this raya had been a wonderful one for me. I met them and we catch up with each other. I missed alot of events that has took place in their life. Whatever it is, all the best in achieving that dream of yours.
:)

Next day, plenty of "open houses" but i am not going to neither of their places. I have Hari Raya rehearsal to attend. Thus, my family will go without me. Well i have met them on the first day of raya so my presence doesn't really matter. Furthermore, i don't really fancy all this thingy. I just hate not the crowd definitely but when mummy goes round telling facts about me. You know like
"Nie la anak radiah. Sorang jer perempuan tapi susah nak jage. Kepala batu anak sorang nie."
She always did it every year without fail. Sometimes i just feel like arghh!!

On the other hand, i know you are dissapointed in me. I know i am a problematic girl. I know it's the second time i have let you down. The first time was four years ago when i got mine "N"s result. I don't deny K56 played a part in my failure but i will not blamed it. I chose to commit myself in it putting my studies behind me. However, i promise i'll make it up to you next semester. I have done it before and i believe i can do it again. Just don't give up on me like you did before. These time just put a little faith in me and i'll prove to you. Please don't give up on me yet. I'll change those grades. I promise.
:(

Things surrounding me are changing rapidly.

Why is that so?

*Baby, hug me tightly when we meet tomorrow.*

Moment of truth!

2009-09-19T11:04:00.004+08:00

Finally the truth has been reveal.
All i could do was swallowed every single details reluctantly and just couldn't stop crying.
I am totally not aware of it and was kept in the dark for months. I understood why you did that but you could actually told me the truth slowly.
You knew i would understand but why didnt you?
And to know it from the other party...
The feeling was heart-wrecking!

I understand completely why you did that because if i were in your shoe, i would do the same too.
You were just being selfish to get what you want.
However, you know i hate lies and i would not want the friendship being built up over a lie.
A white lie i must say.
We have talked and i appreciate it that you were being honest to me.
Now i hope things will change for the better. No more lies between us.
As usual being me, i would forgive and forget. Things had happened and no use brooding over it. I just feel bad to the other party and definitely have no idea how to face her.

Dear{Youknowyourself},
from the bottom of my heart, i am totally sorry.
I totally had no idea at all that it was that way back then. I seriously don't know how to face you or what to say. I feel bad and devastated upon knowng the truth. However, i hope you will not hold any grudges and the friendship we just built would not drain down. Hopefully things will get better between us.
:)

On the brighter side, i would be denying if i said i am not feeling happy. I am not trying to be bad but i am happy knowing that you chose to be with me. Thanks for doing it. You knew i would backed out if you didn't do what you did. No more me being paranoid. Having those thoughts. You know how deep i have fallen for you and i fear of losing you.
I could make a novel out of our love story.
You never fail to put a smile on my face. You never fail to make me smile to myself whenever i think of you. You never fail to make me fall for you over and over again whenever we had a small disputes. Everytime we quarrel, we never fail to make up soon after.It is funny how girl fall for a guy. She can be doing things that she herself is not aware of it. All she want was to spend every moments with the person she adore.
That's me!
Thanks baby.

Living in a world of you and me.
That's the way i want it to be!

*Baby, i don't want to lose you!*

Darkness

2009-09-09T21:53:00.005+08:00

I don't know how to start. I don't what to say. My mind is all messed up. Alot of changes has been happening. You are no more the guy i used to know. You are not the same guy i fall in love back then. You always misunderstood me. Who are you!? Your anger is superly unbearable. Your words are so harsh. It pierce right thru my lil heart. Are you aware of that!?

No more sweet texts from you. No more encouraging words from you.No more warmth hug from you. No more tender kiss from you. Why!!?? Why the sudden change!? I am missing you badly.

Please don't keep me in the dark. If you think you have found someone new then tell me straight in my face! I can accept it although it gonna hurt me so badly!

I truly love you like nobody business. I don't care bout all the anecdote i heard bout you. Because i am so sure about my own feelings. I don't need others people views to tell what's right and what's not. They don't determine my happiness. But i am not happy with the way it is right now. I don't even what the hell is going on. Even now when i am typing this, tears are falling down thru my cheeks. I want you to love me not out of sympathy but because you love me! I know i have quite an ego but i myself is trying so hard to change for the better. You seriously need to change the way you talk to me because i hate it! I sanggup berubah dan lakukan apa saja tetapi i taknak seandainya i hanya bertepuk sebelah tangan. I apologize if i have hurt you. I didnt mean it. I care so much about you because you complete me.

*Boy, i am yearning for you once again. And i need you badly!*

Something you don't know

2009-09-03T17:02:00.000+08:00

Life has been like a rollercoaster for me lately. Alot of up and downs, turn, double turn and even triple turn. Alot of drama but hey i am not whining as it spices up my daily life. And i am relieved and thankful for an incident that occurred recently. I know you're true. Just can't stop smilling widely thinking bout what you did to the extend. :D

Your family is so sweets. I feel so comfortable around them. I like being with them. Did i say like!? No! LOVE is the word. They are so friendly and i can just joke around with them like as if they are my friends too. Your family... That's what i have been searching for high and low. Now i am fill with fear. Alot of question has been playing in my mind and i am looking for the right time to ask you. Because now i can see myself being part of it. But can you?

However, with small arguments, sarcasm and rudeness between us. Will it make us fall even deeper or will it make us grow apart? Is it temporary? Will your feeling disappear in no time? And dot dot dot... Now i am just waiting for the right time for all these question to be answer. Insya'allah soon.

PS: If you're reading these please don't ask me anything. Eventually i will ask you when the time come.

*Loving you genuinely and hoping for the best!*

Thank you!

2009-08-26T20:41:00.005+08:00

Finally it's over! Major exams have come to an end. However i'm still worried on how i'll fare for Maths. I studied at the very last min. Preparing myself for supplementary paper soon. I'm going to stay home for these two days. Break fast at home with family. Or should i say "family". I am not sure about my own feeling right now.

Apart from that, i just can't thank abg more for being extra nice. He has enrolled me for class 3. How sweet is that. And i am having BTT on the 2nd of sept. I am one lucky girl i must say. All my wants in my wishing list slowly has been fulfilled by people surrounding me. Esp *da One*. He has been the sweetest.

*Stop making him as the bad guy please! He's such a nice chap.*

Lost!

2009-08-23T19:23:00.003+08:00

I am feeling so bad right now.

Thing weren't sailing smoothly for us lately. Arguments after another. Over trivial matter. I have decided on something which i really don't want. Where are all the happy times? I am losing those sweet moments right now. I am missing you badly baby. Please call me when you see this.

Love or hate!?

2009-08-22T00:12:00.006+08:00

I'm feeling pissed off right now!Like seriously. Over a trivial matter!? C'mon la alright. It's really so stupid of us. And yes i take it after you. You taught me all that. Oh my, aren't we alike right now!? I am so loving it! Now you are asking me to leave you alone? Fine! Leave me alone too!! Arghh!!! Forget about it. Hopefully it will tone down after a few hours.

Anyway today i had my first paper, Telecommunication and System. I would say the paper was easy but i was forgetful today. My brain wasn't working. However i attempted most of the question afterall. Thanks for your encouragement. I did my best you know. Tomorrow i'm gonna crack my brain studying maths. Which i have to learnt from scratch. Damn it! How am i supposed to do it? Time stopped please. Till i'm done with this ordeal.

Oh ya, before i forgot. Tomorrow is the first day of fasting. Unfortunately, i can't due to some girl problem. To all Muslims, Selamat Berpuasa!

Mummy over at Johor Bahru. Will only be back tomorrow morning. So adeq have to sahur all by himself. Don't worry, your big sister is always here to accompany you. Hahaha..

*Loving you is all i wanted to do but i didnt know it's so hard. Whatever the outcome is, i'll still love you as ever.*

Aku Bertanya?

2009-08-16T01:16:00.003+08:00

Adakah diriku kau tak perlu lagi?
Adakah cintaku kau tak perlu lagi?
Adakah dirimu dah berubah hati terhadap diriku?

Adakah insan lain bertahta dihatimu?
Hinggakan dirimu merubah cintamu.
Manakah janjimu yang kau beri dulu kepada diriku?

Kau pernah berkata cintamu adalah selama-lamanya.
Bulan menjadi saksi pada malam itu.
Kau kata kau cinta.

Sayang dengarlah rintihan hatiku.
Ingin kau kembali seperti dahulu.
Kenangan dijiwa membuatku rindu kepada dirimu.

Sekiranya diriku kau tak perlu lagi.
Simpanlah kenangan cinta kita dihati.
Walaupun sukarku akur kali ini.
Biarlah ku pergi.

Maafkanlah aku bertanya.

Less of a bitch.

2009-08-07T01:41:00.001+08:00

Life is much less of a bitch with my dearest.

Totally fabulous. Really like a roller-coaster. Dance training resume as per normal except more things have been implements. Other than that, everything is still the same. Hot, sexy and tempting. hahaha..
The new dancers appeared to be friendly too. And i'm sure dorang satu kepala macam kita juga.
hehehe... :)

Anyway today went to watch UP at bugis. Well its quite entertaining afterall. Kids will love it tho. After that "jln2" at Bugis Street and bought accessories before heading back home. Nothing much to update actually..

Ps:Won't be updating quite often due to my hectic schedule.

*Loving you more each day!*

40% hapiness!60% frustration and stress!

2009-08-04T00:40:00.003+08:00

Life has been better for me recently i must say. Hoping it wont just be another temporary.
Clear things up and we really had heart to heart talk. Everything has fall back into places giving me feeling of sensation. However, somehow feeling of frustration is still there. I myself don't understand why. Ignore all that aida!

Anyway last sat, we had post party for K56! It was quite a disappointment because a handful of them weren't there. We sure had fun afterall i guess. As for me i sure do had a lil good times with those who came. We sang and not forgetting camwhoring as usual. Awards were given to those who deserved it and there were also lucky draws to be won. As for me, i did not won any awards or prizes. It doesn't matter to me at all cause i have won the most precious gift ever. You know what it is. Plus i am proud of myself.

The next day, the dancers performed at Bukit Timah CC for an event. The crowd was overwhelming. I miss dancing so badly and yesterday really help to heal it. More coming up dancers and i am so looking forward to it. Time for us to get CRAZY. New dancers coming in and i hope we can really clique well. Hope they are as crazy as us. :)

Ps:pics can be found at my facebook.

*Can't get enough!*

Too good to be true!

2009-08-01T14:39:00.002+08:00

Have you ever felt love you once used to have fade away?
When your loved ones doesn't believe you and always have negative thinking towards you?
The feeling of knowing that he does really disappoints me definitely!
Sometime have you ever wonder,words that ever come out from his mouth and texts that you received from him, somehow he had used it on his previous girls?
Saying I LOVE YOU for instance! I am very sure it has been said umpteens times on different girls. Well i am not an exception. I have used it before. Its common to used it when you are in a relationship. But what about the rest. You know what i mean. Don't you ever lie to me cause i won't be able to accept the facts.

SAME SCRIPTS DIFFERENT CASTS!
I DON'T WANT THAT!
PERIOD!

Make it clear to me and stop all those thinkings. Let it be the last time i'm hearing it. I don't want the things i have been doing come to a waste. GET THAT!

Tired

2009-07-31T01:08:00.002+08:00

So much things to be done all over again. Yes! I repeat all over again. Careless of me to lose my thumbdrive in school. Funny thing was that my classmate actually saw me putting it in my pencil case but how come when i need it, it was nowhere to be found!?Damn! Someone must have took it but who!? Whatever it is just my luck. To the person who might have stolen it, Fcuk you. May you have the worst luck ever!

Supposedly had some other errands to run but it was cancelled at the very last minute. Thus making our way to causeway point to catch a movie. This is my third time watching Jangan Pandang Belakang Congkak. Hahaha.. Trust me, i'll never get tired watching it. It's so hilarious.

Oh ya talking about JPBC, you owe me something. You know who you are.

Anyway got to go. My powerpoint slides has been calling me to finish them up.

Oh my oh my. I need B&J Ice-cream badly. Tsktsk.

*You are the sweetest drug that ever happen to me. Cant get enough of you.*

Hell of GOOD Times!

2009-07-29T13:07:00.010+08:00

On second thot, i have change my mind not to delete away my blog.. Hahaha..

What a fickle minded.

Last Saturday, Jelutung CC was having MAEC OPEN HOUSE and Malam Pesta Berdansa. As usual, we had to put up a performance. The crowd in the evening was super pathetic i tell u. You can hardly see a single soul except for those vendors. Kesian Orang-orang yang membuat persembahan. Shiok sendiri.

However, Malam Pesta Berdansa was the most happening event. We dance through out the night. Everyone was letting go their hair and dance like a danceholics on tha dancefloor. I was shy at first because his parents were there. Eventually, it disappeared the moment "mummy" asked me to dance with her. I'm suprised to see how outgoing she can be. Don't judge a book by its cover was true after all. I really enjoyed myself that night. I am sure the rest did too.

I am really struggling with my studies. I can see myself repeating this modules. Fcuk! The feeling really sucks big time! Whatever it is i'm just going to do my best as usual. Just three papers aida and you will have your two months holiday. Just hang in there. Three weeks to moment of truths. Endure!

Well yesterday i went shopping spree. Like finally!! Remedy to my depression. Hahaha.. I spent $160 on just 4 things. Who cares anyway. I got what i want!! Thanks alot for the treat. Love you like i always do!
Oh my gtg. Got to practice my scripts for french. Mcm paham! But seriously i don't really know the meaning of all the sentence.

*We had a meaningful talk last night and i'm glad it turn out well.*

Goodbye!

2009-07-23T23:25:00.002+08:00

This is the end of my blog!

A Sudden Lost!

2009-07-23T00:52:00.003+08:00

Today i almost collapsed upon hearing the news. I shivered for a moment when my friend came and hugged me tightly.I still couldn't believe it. You're gone... Gone forever.. My tears flow down like a river. I brokedown in my friend’s arms. Mummy adviced me to see him for the last time and i wanted so badly too however we were'nt allowed to see. Thus, i decided not to go. After a few hours i called to sent my condolences to them. They told me that the body will be buried tomorrow morning. I felt bad because i did not managed to see him and asked for forgiveness. However, he went off peacefully. Just stay strong alright aida!

Pakcik Rahman!

Pemergianmu sesuatu yang tidak didugakan. Kamu pergi secara tiba-tiba tanpa memberi apa-apa pesanan. Saya akan doakan agar rohmu akan dicucuri rahmat dan kamu diletakkan di golongan orang-orang yang solehan. Ingin sekali saya memohon maaf kerna tidak dapat menjengukmu disaat kamu masih ada. Ingin sekali saya meminta maaf jika ada kesilapan atau telah menyinggung perasaan sewaktu kamu masih ada. Saya ingin ucapkan ribuan terima kasih atas segala-gala yang telah diberi dan pernah diberi.. Saya ingin sekali lakukan itu semua tapi semuanya sudah terlambat. Adakah aku berdosa!? Ya allah! Apa yang harus aku lakukan untuk aku tebus segala dosa-dosaku?

Thing of the PAST!

2009-07-19T21:27:00.005+08:00

Will that smile fade away forever?

Will i still be able to smile that way?

Everything came crashing down on me.

One after another.

Its fcuking sickenning.

When is all this going to stop!?

On top of that stop asking me such question?

The answer is obvious NO.

You still have the cheek to..

Fcuk you!!

The past is damn fcuking past which i don't want to know and get involved.

I don't want to talk or even see.

Do you fcuking understand!?

Being friends and you sure they have no more feeling for you anymore?

This is full of BULLSHIT!!

So mummy ,

Stop asking me question about things of the past!!!

I won't entertain!!

2009-07-15T22:09:00.002+08:00

Cool or what?

Nearly 3 months i have been eyeing this ipod nano chromatic. I finally got it.. Thanks to beloved for buying it for me. Haha.. Anyway not gonna update for quite sometime. I'm still exshauted..

KOLEJ 56!

2009-07-12T18:26:00.005+08:00

Finally its over.
However i still can't get over it.
Its one unforgettable moment i must say.
Not only me, but for everyone who is involved in the production.
The process of making it, the incident happened really made us grew stronger mentally and physically.
I am proud of everyone especially myself!
Now i can proudly say it out loud "Nuraida Suriyani can act!!"
Thanks to a bunch of people like Abg Hamzah, Abg Afi, Huda, Nadiah, Syirah and all especially Aidil.
Although i came later, they still welcome me.

Thanks for believing in me, always telling me that i can do it. There is nothing that i can't possibly achieved. Thanks for always reminding me to give my best either its during rehearsals, preview or the actual day. Without your motivation, i can't possibly did all these. I still remember what you say along the small bridge to esplanade. Hope its not just another sweet words that came out from your mouth. Mean it and prove it! Thanks to your family too. I wish i could hug them tightly and consider them as my own. Wanted to do it badly but there is a restriction i guess. For that, from the bottom of my heart, i sincerely thank you Aidil Jufri Jumari.

2009-07-03T00:50:00.002+08:00

Aku minta maaf seandainya aku telah melukai hatimu.

Aku minta maaf seandainya kau berubah kerna diriku.

Aku tidak bermaksud untuk itu semua terjadi.

Tetapi biarla aku dengan hidupku kini.

Mencari kebahagiaan dan cinta yang pasti.

Walaupun aku tidak bisa menyakinkan percintaan ini akan kekal namun aku bahagia disampingnya.

Walaupun hati ini luka atas perbuatannya namun aku tahu ini adala untuk kebaikkanku sendiri.

Sedangkan perkahwinan ada pasang dan surutnya apa lagi sepasang kekasih.

Lupakanla diri ini.

Aku merayu.

Usah kau kesali atas ini semua.

Aku pasti kau dapat mencari penggantiku.

Walau sekali pun hati ini akan terluka kelak, aku tetap akan merasa gembira.

Gembira kerna aku dapat merasa cinta oleh sidia yang aku cintai.

Janganla kau merosakkan kebahagianku ini.

Sebaliknya doakanla agar ia kekal abadi.

Kepada sidia yang aku cintai..

Janganla kau lukai hati ini walaupun aku tidak sempurna.

Forget the past and move on!!

2009-07-01T12:36:00.003+08:00

I HATE LIES BUT I SHALL NOT ASK YOU AND PROLONG THE ISSUES!!

2009-06-29T14:28:00.004+08:00

Kasih
Kehadiranmu sebagai teman benar-benar mengisi kekosongan ini.
Kau hadir disaatku dilanda musibah.
Kau memberi ku kata-kata perangsang agar aku tidak putus asa.
Kau mengisi kekosongan ini dengan gurau-senda dan tawamu.
Diri ini tidak berhenti tersenyum dan tertawa melihat gelagatmu.
Kau memberi nafas baru dalam hidupku.
Dalam diam aku mulai tertarik padamu.
Kucupan pertama kau berikan membuat jantung berdegup rancak.
Beribu soalan bermain difikiranku.
Aku ingin bertanya dan meluahkan hasrat hatiku tapi aku malu dan takut.
Namun aku cuba memberanikan diri untuk berterus-terang pada malam itu.
Ternyata aku tidak bertepuk-sebelah tangan.

Kini cintamu telah aku milikki.
Percayalah aku tidak akan pernah tinggalkan dirimu.
Aku juga memerlukan kamu.
Maafkanlah diri ini jika tidak sempurna.
Aku juga ikhlas mencintaimu malah aku tidak boleh hidup tanpamu disisi.
Namamu selalu menjadi sebutan dibibirku.
Bayanganmu tidak pernah lekang dari mataku.
Hatiku berdebar rancak setiap kali kita bersua.

Aku tahu cintamu sebesar dunia.
Aku dapat merasainya.
Janganlah cinta itu hilang.
Berilah aku waktu untuk menyakinkan cintaku.
Agar kau dapat mencintaiku setulusnya.
Kerana aku percaya bahwa cinta yang kita jalinkan suci abadi.
Tiada lagi prasangka dan keraguan terhadap cintamu.
Akanku teruskan perjalanan cinta ini selagi kau disisiku.

2009-06-23T16:54:00.001+08:00

Thanks people for all the wishes..

I really appreciate it!

I spent my day at Vivo..

Thanks to baby for making my day..

Shall update more details and photo at the next entry..

Thanks once more..

2009-06-16T00:37:00.002+08:00

That guy above is known as my "daddy" in Variasi for some reason.

I dunno la.

Anyway...

He is such a jovial and bubbly guy.

He can also be irritating AT TIMES.

hahaha..

Whatever it is..

He is under my most happenning fren list.

Faiz amek kau..

Your very own short post!!

Owe you nothing now.

2009-06-16T00:06:00.013+08:00

Kolej 56 cast!

Well had photoshoot the day before..

So just see the pictures itself..

Getting closer as days goes by...

Variasi's dancer.

Dance chereographer.

Music composer.

I am missing my baby badly..

Anyway 6 more days..

hahaha..

2009-06-08T13:36:00.004+08:00

OH GOD!
I FEEL LIKE I AM DYING!! DROP DEAD ANYTIME!

Stop poking your nose in my life. Its over.
Once and for all get over it!! Had enough of your drama!!

2009-06-04T00:18:00.003+08:00

Well basically same routine everyday.

Just that now im going for training seldomly..

In fact, will not be going for this week..

Gonna miss alot.

I'm actually pissed off with someone.

I've already sacrificed alot of things just to commit myself to this.

Everyone else have other things to attend to not just you.

So pls gif urself one tight slap and wake up!!

Siapa makan cili dia terasa pedas.

I don't give a hook if you know who you are and you feel offended.

2009-06-01T22:29:00.006+08:00

Well nothing much to updates.
I ate alot today lyk usual my "perangai gemok".
Went to eat Mac den mummy got home and bought donuts..

Anyway i was browsing thru some old pictures and saw these.
I am seriously missing those moments and people in the pics badly..
Abg khai, i am missing you badly..
Missing ur jokes.
Shall mit up real soon.

I am missing those moment peeps.
We and our crazy ideas..
Doing video clips and taking pictures in the bath tub and on the bed..

Meeting baby tmr..

Missing him badly.

Time please move faster.!!

Baby imy and ily.!!

2009-05-31T21:52:00.002+08:00

Mengapa sukar untuk dirimu mengerti semuanya?
Kenapa engkau masih lagi dengan sikap kedegilanmu?
Dengan sikap keangkuhanmu.
Aku tetap akan setia menanti.
Menanti saat kau mula mengerti cinta yang ada untuk dirimu.
Menanti saat kau berubah.
Menanti saat kau mulai mengerti.
Aku merayu agar semua ini dihentikan.
Pulanglah kau menjadi seperti dia yang aku kenali dulu.
Aku sudah bosan dengan setiap pertengkaran di antara kita.

2009-05-31T19:48:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow is my term test and im here struggling.

Someone please come to my rescue.!

Well anyway im hoping luck is on my side again like always to pull this thru..

Will not be updating frequently.

Hope everything will fall into places.

Having all kind of feelings at this moment.

Till den.

2009-05-29T11:52:00.002+08:00

LIFE IS SO SUCKS!!
I HATE LIVING IN THIS KIND OF SITUATION!!!!
SOMEONE PLEASE KILL ME!!!!